her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
