You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
