You can't special order awesome
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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