Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
