Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
