FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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