had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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