I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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