i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
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