i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Randomize
