youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
