Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
