I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Even my vagina gasped.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
