Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
