I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
We are two peas in an std pod
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
