Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
