just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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