omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
