So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
