you guys were way drunker than both of me
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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