well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
