He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
