you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
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