Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
i think i just lost a toe
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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