Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
