i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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