Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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