wat bout pragnant strippers??
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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