Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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