i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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