i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i jhust puked up my retainher.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
My penis needs a shock collar
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
