I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
