Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
