is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
they're like a gay fantastic four
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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