somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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