was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
