try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
