he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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