you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
