Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Randomize
