I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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