i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Randomize
