hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
