was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
