She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
