The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
She made me pour olive oil on her.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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