Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
