Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
