I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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