so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
