All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
